Pain- I like it rough..

... Who doesn't love this song? >.<

[Chorus]
Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven soI got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road straight up ahead
A car was stalled the engine was dead
I couldn't stop so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screaming tires the busting glass
The painful scream that I heard last

[Chorus]

When I woke up the rain was pouring down
There were people standing all around
Somethign warm flowing through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
I lifted her head she looked at me and said
Hold me darling just a little while
I held her close I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew i have missed
Well now she's gone even though I hold her tight
I lost my love my life that night

[Chorus]

Woh (x4)
Ohh (x4)



... It reminds me of my grandpa, 'cause it'd always come on in his truck when we were on our way to the movie store to rent movies.

... The desire to throw myself off of something very high finally went away.
Mostly because I think it'd be gross when I went SQUISH.
So not the point.

They're letting me fix my articles. Said they understand, and next time I'm feeling so stressed, just to stop and talk to them. Or someone.
They're pleased that I readressed the situation, though.
The situation that I haven't written about and probably won't. It was stressful, and it hurt to realize how far off track I was. It's still stressful.
Hopefully it'll be over soon. I don't care how.

Getting my hair cut tomorrow. Elliot Reed-ish. ... I love Scrubs.
Dr. Cox makes me want him, just a little. :/ And J.D.

I feel... I can't even put into words how I feel right now. ._. It's not good.

Anyway. Finished the psychology powerpoint presentation barely in time today. Didn't have to go, so we're cleaning it up a bit and making it look nicer.
Another conversation with the excitable Leah at lunch today about, uh, relationships and stuff. Impressed with the fact that I've been, according to her, "brave enough to experiment."
Leah: So, wait, you're straight now or...?
Me: Yep. Pretty much.
She was kind of fascinated with the whole thing. I think /she/ wants to do it. ... She's so funny.

... Then the day went downhill.
Fucking depressed.
I can't even bring myself to talk about it yet. I just can't believe I let myself get that far, that bad. I hadn't realized it. And /this/ brought it to my attention. Not in a good way. I'm so upset, with myself, and the whole situation.
AQT was a brief distraction. But... Not long enough. I don't know if I can do the school-thing tomorrow. ... As pathetic as that sounds.
I Feel Pathetic.

PS- Experiment isn't the right word. I dunno what is. ... Pick something that means the same, but not as, uh. Whatever.

Thanksgiving. <3 A day worth not much else other than decent food. Don't deny it, everyone thinks the same thing.

I woke up today and didn't really feel like going with the rest of the family... Which ended up making my mother cry, and I can't stand it when people do that, and I'm secretly a big pushover so... I gave in, and I went.

My aunt made it all worth it, pretty much. It must be my mom's side of the family in me. But my aunt offered me a margarita. ... And, despite the fact that they weren't made extraordinarily well, I accepted. And it was good. And I had like... Three or four. That made the entire day okay.

I could deal with the crazy. The crazy drunk uncle that started drinking whiskey (turkey or something) around noon, at the latest. The aunt that randomly flipped out over small things. ... Their arguing that ensued. The children that I don't really like. My mother's bit of... Crazy tipsy drinking and her clinging over Brian. ... It was all okay.

After a yummy dinner (I do love sweet potatoes...), we played darts. Yes, oh yes, darts. How does my family spend their Thanksgiving? Drinking, dinner, and darts. The three D's, I guess.

It wasn't all that bad.

Geeze.

I usually ramble about things that bother me in here, but it's kind of not possible right now to talk about what's really bothering me at the moment. ... I don't want certain specific people to read it. :/

Why not make it private, right?

... Because private entries are silly and I don't like them so much. ._.

I just... Eh. I'm so... I dunno.

I dunno what to do.

*shrug*

Heh, admire the little fox. He's cute.

Fabulous day today. I won't lie, it really was. Aside from everything NOT sucking, especially now that I've managed to completely tune out the retards in A&P and accomplish something in that class, it was... Just good.

I GOT A HUG FROM JEFF PERDUE.

Why is this important? because it's Jeff-freaking-Perdue, that's why. He's pretty much one of my heroes.

And then I had layout after school, so I sat around with my Editor-in-Chief and chatted... She mentioned how there'd been a bit of drama, what with people not being happy with her having been chosen to be that particular Editor. Personally, I'm glad she got the position (because I didn't apply xDD) because I couldn't see anyone else who applied handling it as well as her.

And then she stroked my ego a bit when she told me that I was pretty much the best writer on the staff. ;D Hmm... Does she say that to everyone, or is it just me?

Pff, I don't care. I got complimented.

....


Just so everyone knows.



I'd so do Kayla.



kthnks.

I'm sort of annoyed... About as annoyed as I ever get anyway.

Mom's projecting on me. She went out with an older guy and got pregnant at sixteen, so obviously that's what I'm going to do too. Despite the fact that I'm pretty sure I have pretty decent morals and values. And manparts kind of gross me out still. ... All parts do, but that's not the point.

She's reluctant to let me go out tomorrow. I don't do anything any other time, and the one time I would like to do something, she doesn't really want me to. I'm not cool with that. I really don't want to suffer because of her mistakes (even if, technically, that would include me).

I can't stand how parents project on their children. I understand that maybe they're afraid for them and concerned, which is great. But that shouldn't stop them from being allowed out to make some of their own mistakes and have their own experiences.

... And Joe's not a bad guy. ._.